My hubby was scheduled for surgery yesterday. Normal and routine. It was just to unclog his shunt in his arm that he does dialysis from. Let me just say.."been there done that" ..sort of surgery. I know it may sound harsh and uncaring... But that is almost what it is like.
Exactly two weeks ago he had surgery on the other arm. I went in thinking the same thing. Well to my surprise ... He didn't do so well. Four and a half hours later from a surgery that was to be about an hour and a half was my first clue something was wrong. I found out that they had trouble keeping his blood pressure up and almost moved him to ICU. Wow! How quickly things change! It was then that I new that I needed to change my heart and needed God's help to do it! I told God that I didnt want to become immune to my husbands illness or surgeries. I know I shouldn't have been that way to begin with. But it's easy to fall into that rut, especially when you deal with it day in and day out! "Thank you God!" for showing me the rut I was in and for helping me to get out! I don't want to take what You have given us for granted!
Yesterday went well, but going into it, my feelings were totally different! I saw everything a new way. So different that I had to say to myself..." I'm not really used to this...at all!"
I know I have, on probably several occasions, pushed my feelings back so that I don't have to think about anything going wrong. But during all those times I grew callus thinking its no biggie. But as of two weeks ago I have learned that every surgery is a biggie! I need to put my "big girl panties on"...and know that my God is with me! Can I get a Amen??!!!~
Very good post my friend. We all have to be hit up beside the head with God's reality stick sometimes. Praying for yall.
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